The Anonymous Writer's Notebook

All the SINGLE LADIES! Now, put your hands up!

©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

Yes! Oh yes. Why are some women SINGLE? What are the possible reasons why these women are having a hard time finding the perfect guy to love them, support them and be with them forever? Or are they really looking for one?

There are thousands of reasons why we see SINGLE women everywhere.

And these are some..

26907418_1789307631092939_6254272239567009164_n.jpg
(c) Dan Tan

EXCESSIVE WORK

Women are sometimes workaholic, or should I say most of the time? GUILTY! Yes, I sleep at 4 in the morning and I wake up at 10 or 11am.. I go out with friends on Fridays or Saturdays — WITH MY LAPTOP. Yes, with my laptop on the table with a couple of beer or a cup of coffee. But men usually get intimidated when they see workaholic women. And they sometimes think that women have the power to overrule than to be submissive. They care more about their job than to think of what to wear on a date. Regardless of, women still have their own way of showing that they care for men and at the same time, they still have this touch which proves that they still value their worth as women. So — You are single because you do not give yourself time to love and be loved.

THE PERFECT GUY

Who would’ve thought that the perfect guy does exist. Doesn’t he? This has been one of the main reasons why some women that we meet everyday are still single. Some of them are looking for the perfect guy. But hey! There aren’t any. You might meet someone who is totally handsome and has the best attitude amongst all the men you’ve met in the past but has a bad reputation when it comes to dealing with his family. You might meet someone who respects his mother, sister, cousins, your siblings, your mother, your best friend and all the women in the world but is shorter than you. You might bumped into someone who has the “tall, dark and handsome” features which you’ve been searching for, for a long time, but is dying of cancer. See, nobody is perfect! There are many reasons to see the perfection in someone as long as you accept his flaws. We all deserve to have a perfect partner for us to be able to have a perfect relationship. But we must not find the perfect person because it doesn’t really exist. We can only have a perfect relationship if we learn to accept them for who they are. Well at least that might be possible. So — You are single because you are still looking for that perfect guy that you want to spend with for the rest of your life.

YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST

Men are sometimes adventurous. But some women are more dauntless than men. They are the ones who would sign up FIRST, to try bungee jumping, wobbly roller coasters and other risk taking rides. I wonder why SOME men are sometimes even more afraid than these ladies. (Sshh, believe me. I met a lot.) Whatever way you may seem to have in living your life to the fullest – SOME MEN, are still sometimes afraid of taking risks. LITERALLY, taking the risk of loving a lady like you. So — You are single because you do not give others the chance to know the other side of you. Goes to show that you are a perfect epitome of “no boyfriend, no problem” type of woman.

I LOVE YOU… Thank you, I love myself too. 

Oh how you love yourself so much that you do not want yourself to get hurt. So you’d rather choose to stay single than to be in a relationship. So what you do is you try to be happy, going out with your so-called best friends and hang out with your guy friends because you are always one of the boys. You enjoy having a cup of coffee at a coffee shop near you reading books while your best friend enjoys meeting men at a party every Friday. You luxuriate in having more time at your fave beach in town. You relish being a couch potato than to go out on a date. But you are not getting any younger. And at the end of the day, at the end of every night life, at the end of each chitchat day with a friend, you still sleep alone… Oh yeah. With your fluffy dog on the floor. Hence, you drive yourself home and sleep, and repeat. Same old routine and you enjoy FREEDOM to the nth power! So — You are single because you are a very independent person that others think you are already happy being on your own.

PRIORITIES.. PRIORITIES.. PRIORITIES..

And being a girl friend or a wife of someone is not one of them. You enjoy taking your nephews and nieces at the mall on Sundays and you do not see yourself being a mother yourself. You would rather drive your mom at the nearest grocery store and shop on a Friday noon than to sit at the passenger’s seat of your boyfriend’s hot wheels. You would rather walk your dogs at the park while keeping your body fit. And even if you meet someone who might get interested in you while you are at the gym, you still do not make them one your top priorities. Odd but true. So — You are single because you do not include a partner as one of your top priorities.

I’M AN ASTUTE PERSON! DEAL WITH IT! 

A sagacious woman can handle any situation on her own. More and more women are becoming more educated, smarter, classier and independent while SOME men are becoming shoddy. I repeat — SOME men.. not all.. It can also be one of the reasons why you are not in a relationship. You sometimes tend to find someone who can catch up with your personality. Someone who matches your character and you can’t even try to be at least someone men can neutralize. You make them feel like you are someone they always have to look up to. Sometimes, we also need to act like a cowgirl. Try not to be scared of being simple. So — You are single because you are too smart to handle. Not your fault anyway.

HIGH STANDARD

Our standard is something that we value because we know our worth. However, sticking to that may result to not being able to find the person we are looking for. We may, at one point in time, but he might already be in a relationship, or he’s gay, or he’s a single dad. Still, not the person ton your bucket list. And because of this, you sometimes act like as if there are so many men in the world and there’s this one guy who is meant for you. YES! But remember, it may take too long before you meet that guy OR, you have already met him but you missed the bus. (wink) So — You are single because you are not ready to date someone who is not on the same level as you are.

 THIS CAKE IS EVEN BETTER THAN MY EX!

Some women are afraid of entering a new relationship because of how the previous one hurt her. BUT – men are all different. Nevertheless, we cannot blame them for being like that. Sometimes, they aren’t just ready for a new attachment. Give them time. So — You are single because you are still moving on. Or have you moved on? Well, that’s at least what you tell your friends.

26734184_1791397147550654_198341318897304573_n.jpg
(c) Dan Tan

 

Love can be lethal. It can cause you to death. That is why there are these beautiful women who are still single. They actually have their own reasons why. And just like what I mentioned, there are thousands of reasons. And these are just some. But then again, Love can also save us. Choice is ours.

 

DISCLAIMER: I posted this because I have met several women asking me why they are still single. And men asking me why I am single.

 

 

Random Thoughts, Uncategorized

Random Thoughts

S.INGLE A.WARENESS D.AY

©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

This has always been one of my favorite songs. For some reason, haha it makes me feel like I am just okay being single… But whenever I hear this song it makes me laugh, getting confused if I really am okay being single or not.. Well, up, up for Joseph Vincent! He’s one of my faves… 

Well from the line “There’s always next year, just wait and see”

INDEED.. Let’s just wait for next year… haha Everything is just alright.. ^^

-S.A.D No valentine for me
And Imma be alright if you could only see
That today’s just a day and if it’s meant to be
There’s always next year, just wait and see

This ain’t a song about love, it’s the actually opposite I’m thinkin’ of
I don’t care about the cards, or candy hearts, oh no no no I’ll tell you right from the start
Oh, reminds of how I don’t have a date, the 14th of February gets in the
way cause for me, It’s Single Awareness Day-

Featured Image (c) jaydejavier (instagram)

Daily Quotes by TheAnonymousWriter

The Anonymous Writer’s Notebook

©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

“It’s when you know how to handle a relationship 

and can easily tell a person on what to do 

only because you are not the one on their shoes 

and it’s odd like as if know how good you are in handling a relationship 

but you are single. Nice.”

-TheAnonymousWritersNotebook – 

Something I need (Love Story)

Something I need.. Chapter 1


©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

“Being SINGLE is not a PROBLEM.. Being ALONE is..”

Chapter I

Okay, a lotta people were hooked on the stories of Jessica, Tiffany, Yassy and Missy. And most of them sent me a message right after reading it asking for the PART II of each story to be posted right away. I too got hooked with these characters. Felt the pain in their hearts while writing the stories. But what if that is not the ending of the story? What if they had a wonderful ending? Is it going to be that way still? Well, there won’t be any part II I believe.

And who do you think owns this part II? Or is this really the part II that we have all been waiting for? Could it be Missy’s story? Tiffany of What might have been? Jessica of Why can’t it be? Yassy of Didn’t we have it all? Or we are having new characters here? Let’s find out!🙂

When can problems end? When can hurting end? Do we really learn from our mistakes? Does courage take us to where we really want to be? What do we really need in this world? Does being in a relationship mean you are happy? Does being single mean you are lonely?



“I had a dream the other night..About how we only get one life.. Woke me up right after two
Stayed awake and stared at you, So I wouldn’t lose my mind..

And I had the week that came from hell..And yes I know that you could tell, But you’re like the net under the ledge..When I go flying off the edge, You go flying off as well”

.One Republic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCGBgOgp08



CHAPTER 1

“I know the feeling. I have been there. Done that. The same feeling……………….. when Ronnie told me that you guys………………….. were……………….. exclusively dating…………….. a decade ago.” Jerry said. 

SURPRISED.. Yassy never thought he’d say that. She felt like she was in the middle of nowhere when he said that. She does not know how to react.

(Part I: Didn’t we almost have it all)

(https://singlemoms14.wordpress.com/2016/08/13/didnt-we-almost-have-it-all-the-sumilon-island-story-cebu-philippines/)

“It’s okay Yassy. You do not have to say anything.” And he smiled.

After a few minutes, he assisted me back to the table. And he started explaining.

CAFE DOOR OPENED

“High Five!” Ronnie greeted them with a smile.

Jerry whispered, “These group of teens are always here. We call them the CAFE ADDICT and they know that.”

“Oh okay! ugh.. —How long has he been married?”  Yassy suddenly asked.

“Huh?” Jerry was surprised. He never thought she’d still ask.

Ronnie (stealing glances from a distance). “So how are you guys?” Talking to the customers.

“He has never changed. He still has that kind of humor that everyone likes.” Yassy added.

“The usual boss!” 

“That’s Phoebe. She’s kinda like the leader of the group.” Jerry explained.

“Phoebe? Her name doesn’t match her character..” The girl that they’re talking about is wearing a big shirt, nude chino shorts, with a short hair, a black bum bag, birks and has braces.

“Alright, so that would be 5 Mocha Cold Brew, 4 with milk and 1 which has no milk, 2 orders or a clubhouse and 1 Tuna Sandwich” Ronnie knows their order. Really.

“Sir yes sir!” 

“That’s Pots.”

POTS.. Boyish? Nope. A chubby girl with a white complexion, with a very charming face. She’s so cute like you’d want to squeeze her right now. Take note. She’s a chubby girl who is into a 7-year relationship and who is getting married soon.

“You really know each one of them don’t you?” Yassy asked.

“This is my second home. It’s like I am the other owner. I know who comes in and out of this cafe all the time. This cafe is one the witnesses of all the pain that Ronnie and I have gone through in the past. Even the last few tears that fell from his eyes before he decided to get married.” He added.

“Ugh. okay. I am sorry?” She whispered.

“Nothing to say sorry about Yassy” squeezed her fingers under the table and smiled.

She really does not know how to react to it. She remembered the last text message she received from Ronnie before he got married. “Yassy, just say you love me, and I will not go to the church.” She was trying to compose herself and constructing a response in her mind, until…

“YASSY??!!” A hot chic wearing a blue tank top and a pair of white shorts, like super shorts and a pair of white sneakers, was standing in front of them.

“OH..MY..GOD..JESSSSSIIIIIIICAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Excuse me, excuse me!”  Excused herself on the table and hugged her! She’s a friend way back in High School.

“Oh My God! It’s been a while. Didn’t know that you are already here!And why didn’t you tell me!! (punched Jerry on his left arm)”

“Ouch!” Giggling.

Ronnie serving the order to the table next to them “Why late Miss? We also have no idea that Yas is already here in the Philippines. This guy here found her in Cebu last weekend.” winked. “Coffee jelly for the hot chic here” Ronnie shouted raising his right arm to the staff.

Seems like they’re already familiar with the orders of these regular customers.

“What’s up with you? Did you and Chase end up together? Are you married?” Yassy was excited to catch up with her.

“Hahaha Chase. The guy from the past. (Rolled her eyes) Well, you know what? Since you guys are already here, I have a great idea, what about hmmmmm drinking sesh tonight? What do you say about it? G?”

“Oh, sure! not a problem with me.” Yassy answered quickly.

“Jerry?” She asked.

“Wherever Yassy goes, I go.”

Blushed. Rolled her eyes at him and giggled.

“Oh GREAT! Then let’s talk about these things later. I’ll just finish my story before we start.”

“Oh of course! Take your time” Yassy answered.

She went on a different table, turned her laptop on and started typing. She is still a workaholic person.

“This is where she spends most of her time. Sometimes, she’d send her kid to school in the morning and she will head here right away to finish some of her blogs.” Jerry added. “Now check out the 5 teens on the other table”

These teens were staring at Jessica.

“She’s really hot! Look at her.” Phoebe said.

Jessica grabbed her drink and sipped. Made a glance on her left side and smiled at the teens.

“She’s really nice. She said hi to me at the restroom two weeks ago. I think she’s friends with the owner.”  Pots explained.

“Shhhh, guys! Please be quiet! I ain’t done reading this story yet!” That’s Cyril, a petite lady with a long hair, white skin and charming face. “Ugh!I hate this character on this story! Jes seems to be like a really kind woman from this story. I wish she could find the right man for her.”

“Wait, what are you reading? Can I see it?”  Lexie, a typical gay who dresses up like a man but acts like a woman, took the tablet from Cyril and checked out what she’s reading. Looking at the blog site, the photo on the blog site in particular, then looking at Jes, looking at the blurry photo on the blog site again, and looking at Jes. Photo – Jes – Photo – Jes – Photo – Jes. “Oh my God!” He said.

“What??” Cyril was wondering.

“Oh my G, Cy! Would you like to meet The Anonymous Writer in person?? Pay for my tix to Bataan and I’ll introduce you to her!!!” Sounded really excited and expecting a good response from Cy.

Rolled her eyes. “Whatevs Lex! Gimme that. I ain’t done reading it yet.”

Jes suddenly giggled.



A few hours later. Almost no more customers left except for the gang and a few staff of course. 

“Guys! Smile!” Jessica posted a photo on facebook. (Right to left Ronnie, his wife Rica, Jerry, Yassy, Jessica)

“Wow this photo is really getting a lot of likes!” surprised.

“Well, it’s because everybody’s happy seeing us all together,” Ronnie answered.

“CHEERS!!!! Congrats Atty. Yassy, Congrats Ronnie for the cafe!” Jerry called for a toast.

Jes staring at Yassy like as if she wants to ask her a question which she’s not sure of. And she whispered. “What’s the score with you and Jerry? Oh..My..God.. Wait! I forgot!!!! What the… Are you and (pointing to Ronnie) now okay?”

“hahaha Yes. yes, everything is now clear,” she answered. She never showed people that she’s still in pain. “And you! You didn’t answer my question awhile ago. So are you single?”

“Well, fell in love with a perfect guy but had to let go. It was the most painful separation that I have ever had. I just needed to decide on that and chose to do the right thing. But I am okay now. Haha you know me Yas! I cry for two days without other people knowing and that’s it! I am all good.”

She’s one of the toughest people in the world.

“With Chase, well, I have never seen him yet since the last time, which I think was in High School haha”. She added

“Oh my God! That’s way too long”  Yassy answered

“Oh well yeah. Ooops! Hang on!.. (Phone ringing) Oh my! (showing her caller!) It’s Tiff!!!!”

“Girl!!” She went out and talked to Tiff on the phone.

Jerry held Yassy’s hand under the table. I think he’s a bit drunk already. As much as she doesn’t want to. She embraced the situation and welcomed him in her life. Little by little, she’s sure, she’ll get over Ronnie.

Ronnie giving them a glance suddenly excused himself on the table. “Hubby?” The wife asked.

“Ah yeah. I just need to talk to the staff before they leave. Please excuse”

A few minutes later, Yassy found herself leaning on Jerry’s shoulder. Only have a few bottles left and it’s almost 10 in the evening.

Jessica already left half an hour ago.

1 message received!

“Yassy, I am already at home and it was really nice seeing you today. Let’s hang out more soon. I’ll plan for another get together with our other friends. I had so much fun. I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon.”  Jessica.

“Bottoms up! Last bottle! Jerry shouted excitedly.

“CHEERS!!” Everyone.

Then he stood up. Gave Ronnie a salute, bid goodbye and a wave to the wife, grabbed Yassy’s right hand with his and put his left arm around her shoulders upon reaching his car. (Ronnie staring at them) That’s sweet though. Okay I mean the arm on her shoulders – not Ronnie staring at them – or maybe? Or nope definitely not – ugh.

Jerry opened the door of his car. And let her in. Engine on, AC on, sounds on.

img_3099.jpg

 

 

Held her hand and smiled. Off to somewhere which she does not know, she just felt like, she feels safe today.

 

 

She is sure, he’s taking her somewhere safe.

“So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover, that I know you can’t afford, Bite that tattoo on your shoulder. Pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole, from your roommate back in Boulder, we ain’t ever getting older.” And they both found themselves singing together. Holding hands while driving and dancing inside the car.



Rica: “Hubby? Are you okay? Let’s just go home. Let the staff do it tomorrow.” 

Ronnie: “Yes, I am okay hon. I just think I am tired today.”

“Okay then let’s just clean the mess tomorrow. Or let the staff do it. Alright? Let’s go home now and take a rest.”

“Hon, I’m okay. I think you are the one who needs to take a rest. I will have the driver send you home today. You have to be early tomorrow. Remember you have a client meeting?” 

“And you?” Rica.

“I am okay. I have to make sure everything is okay and clean everything here before I go home and I will have to check the sales for today. Don’t worry, I’ll go home after.”

“Oh. Okay. Are you sure?”  Rica wanted to make sure her husband is okay, who has been quiet since they arrived this noon. “Okay hon, I’ll see you at home. I love you.”Kissed Ronnie goodbye.

Ronnie has been quiet the whole day. Thinking about his day. About everything that happened in the past. Everything that happened in the last few days. And today. He is jealous. Yes. Yassy is the one that got away. But, maybe, just maybe, there is a reason why they saw each other again. Closure? We ain’t sure yet.



1ish in the morning, Yassy felt like the car stopped. She felt cold. Slowly opened her eyes and saw Jerry staring at her inside the car. “Ugh. Why didn’t you wake me up? Where are we?”

“Somewhere in Batangas?” He answered.

“Ugh.”  Scratching her eyes, she slowly got up from leaning over the car seat and looked outside.

Hmmm.. Fresh Air. She is so loving it. She has never felt this for a long time. Got off the car and sat on the hood. Closed her eyes.

“Here.” And he put his jacket on her shoulder.

“This is life, Jerry. I have never felt this way for a long time. I have always been busy with work and dealing with my clients. Thank you.”

“Thank you? For?” He asked.

“Thank you for taking me here,” Yassy answered.

“No, Yassy. Thank you. Thank you for trying.” Leaning on his chest, he kissed her on her head.



The following day…

Ring! Ring!

Pots: “Hello, dude what time are you going to the cafe today?”

“Ugh. Hello Cy, I just woke up. I dunno. Maybe at 3 in the afternoon? Call Lexie and ask him, I am still sleepy. I slept late last night, I finished the story Why can’t it be? I’ll get back to sleep and I will call you later.”

“Alright! But send me the link first so I can start reading it too. And I’ll see you later”

https://theanonymouswritersnotebook.wordpress.com/2016/09/01/blog-post-title/

“I already sent you the link on your facebook account. Just go check it and I’ll get back to sleep now.”

“Alright talk to you later!” 

Ring! Ring!

“Lexie! What time are you planning to go to the cafe?” 

“Ano ba naman yan manay! Kakagising lang ng tiyang mo larga agad? Wit ko knora Jones atey. Baka mga alas jortro ng haponesa. Bahala na. Croling kita unya.” (Girl, I just woke up . I have no idea. Maybe at 4 in the afternoon. I’ll call you later.) 

14171890_208329026237125_1667143625_n

 

 

Message sent!

 

 

14169540_208329046237123_1583970282_n

 

 

1 Message Received!

 

And so she went back to sleep after reading the message.

 



1 in the afternoon.

Rica: “Why so early Jes?”

“Hey, Rics! I gotta finish some stories today. So I have to be here early.”

“Coffee Jelly?” Rica asked. 

“Yes please, dear. Thank you! Oh, and 1 Tuna sandwich please.” 

Eyeglasses check! Laptop check! Coffee check! Tied her hair up! And started blogging.

Ting! 1 friend request 

Chase Castillo

“Oh my God!” Called Tiff. “Tiffffff! The F! Chase just added me on facebook!!!!”

“Chase? Chase who?” Tiff asked

“Chase Castillo?! Duh. The one and only Chase”  Jes answered

“Wait, wha! For real? haha take your chance girl!” 

“Ugh. No, I was just surprised. Not a big deal really.”

“Whatever Jes! You at the cafe already? I’ll see you later. I’ll just pick up the kids and I’ll send them to mom before I go there. See you”  Call ended

Accepted!

Hmmmmm, so it’s him. He looks the same. Oh! He has a kid!

1 message received!

“Oh my God!” Hands are shaking.

“Hey! Thanks. How are you?”  It’s him. “I’m all good. What’s up? It’s been a while.”

“I know. It’s been like ages. How are you?”  The smile on her face. And they started chatting again.

After 2 hours

“Hahaha I know! I remember them looking at us that time. I was so shy then. But you know things are really different now. It’s been like 2 decades ago? I dunno. Really a long time ago.” She couldn’t finish her blog. Forgot about it, coz she ended up enjoying the chat with him.

“Yes. And you look really different now. You have grown to be a beautiful woman. If only.”

“What do you mean? haha No! I ain’t beautiful. I think, I just have a different aura? Or nope. Should I say, I only have a personality. That’s it. Nothing has changed. I am still the young lady way back in High School who had a crush on you.”

D’you get it? BLAST FROM THE PAST!



14169752_208352189568142_429056863_n “Oh fudge! The queen is up! She’s typing a message..”

14182376_208352169568144_778496579_n

 

 

“Oh! My he’s up early.”

Message sent!

Jerry calling.

“Hello! Morning. Why up so early?”

“How’s your sleep Queen Yassy?” He’s the sweetest.

 

“Haha whatevs! It feels good. Thanks for last night. What time did you arrive home last night?”

“Right after I drove you home, maybe after 30 minutes? I was actually trying to call you when I arrived home but I think your phone got drained.”  He explained.

“Yes. Actually, I already fell asleep and was only able to charge my phone this morning.”

“Lunch later? Will you be busy today?” He invited Yassy again.

“I have a schedule today. Hearing this afternoon and ahh, dinner instead?”

“G! I’d love to. Will pick you up at 6? I will just go to the cafe. Have to get some files from Jes. update me.”

“Nope, it’s okay. I will just have the driver drop me off to the cafe and let’s just use your car later. Yes. Will do. Take care! Laters!”



CAFE.. 

Jerry: “Dude! So early!! Why you giggling? Who you chatting with?” 

“Haha Whatever! So what files do you need again?” Jes trying to change the topic.

Door Opened…

“Come on! Say hi! Just greet her” Pots pushing Phoebe to greet Jes.

“No! Dude please!” Phoebe feeling shy.  

“Hey, Miss Jes!” Pots greeted her with a big smile. “Said (pointing to Phoebe)”

“What the!Oh yeah. Hi”  (blushing pushing Pots to the table)

“Hey! Have a good day you two,” Jes answered

“See! She’s really nice! I told you!!” uttered Pots.

Door opened…

Cyril, with her eyeglasses on. Walking slowly while reading a story in a quiet voice, passing at the back of the table of Jes.

“Came January, SHE had to go to Aklan with HER mom and uncle to visit the wake of HER mom’s aunt. After the interment, they spent the last few days of their stay in BORACAY. “It’s January! It’s cold! Aren’t you freezing?” HER mom asked. “Nah!” SHE answered, wearing a two piece bikini in a cold night of the first month of 2014. Together with HER mom, uncle and cousins, they headed on to have a few bottles of suds. And guess what? As she was taking a gander at her left side, SHE saw HIM!” 

(https://singlemoms14.wordpress.com/2015/09/21/serendipity-or-just-a-planned-move/)

Jes heard it and blushed. That’s actually the story of “Serendipity or just a planned move?”

Approaching the table, Phoebe looking at Cyril walking towards them (there was a slow mo) and she felt something different. This is really different. They have been friends for a long time and she never felt this way towards her. Only now. How could it be?

“Hey!” Cheek to cheek with Pots and Phoebe.

“Hey! Are you okay?” She asked Phoebe staring at her

“Ah yes, Of course. I was, I was just ah… I was just thinking of something yes. yes. Okay. Of course! What do you want? Coffee of the day?” Phoebe asked Cyril.

Pots and Cyril looked at each other and looked at Phoebe. “WOW! What is up with you? Are you sick? haha This is the very first time you asked me if I want coffee. Okay, then I want to have the usual. Thank youuuuu baby girl.” She has no idea that Phoebe suddenly fell in love with her.

Cyril, wearing a pair of blue sneakers, white shirt, shorts and a cap, sat on the couch in the corner of their table next to Phoebe. Both legs resting on the armrest of the couch and her back leaning on the other end closer to Phoebe. And that made her stiff.



Door opened

Tiff shouting her order upon entering the door of the cafe.

“MACHIATTO FOR THE BESTFRIEND OF THE OWNER PUUHHLLLEAASSEEEE..”

“Oh my God! Oh my God! oh my God!!!!!! You are backkkkkk!!!!!” Ronnie shouted

Ran towards Tiff, hugged her! “How is life doing!!! You bitch! We never heard anything from you since the last time you had coffee here with Matt.”

“hahaha nothing’s new! Same old. Yeah. Driving the kids to school every morning. Working till noon, dinner with Matt once in a while. Date on weekends, hang out with the fambam on Sundays. Just the usual. How are you guys?” Looking for Rica, she whispered “Heard Yassy’s back. What’s up tell me stories!?”

“Talk to you later! haha I’ll just talk to my staff. I’ll get back to you later! Jes is there. Smoking outside. Go there.”

“Alright! laters! Don’t forget to prepare my Machiatto!” Shouting while going out to the smoking area to see Jes. 

“Will serve it soon Ma’am” winked.

“Heyyyyyy!!!!!haha Hi Chase! Ah. I mean. Hi, Jes. What’s up? What’s up?”  Was excited to talk to Jes.

“Why do you seem so excited today? Why so energetic?”  Jes asked.

“Nada. I just felt like it’s going to be a good day” She answered. “So what’s up with you and Chase?”

“I dunno. I think he is already married. He mentioned that he has a baby. And that he is working in Dubai. He’s coming home this September though. And ah. yeah, he asked for my number?”

“Oh, my G! so you guys are going out?” Tiff asked.

“No! I dunno. He only asked for my number, and I don’t think it has something to do with the past. Maybe he only wants to catch up?”

“Oh wait!”  Matt is calling. “Hey baby, are you already at the cafe? Jerry’s there?”

“Hi Baby, well, I haven’t seen him yet.”  covered the mouthpiece and whispered to Jes, “Is Jerry here already?” 

While seriously typing her blog, Jes answered “Ahuh”

“Yes baby, he’s here already. What time are you coming over? Babe, could you not drive your car on your way here? Is it okay if you just take a cab instead? I drove my car here and can you just please drive it later? pretty please baby baby??”

“Alright. No problem. I’ll be there in a bit. I love you!”

“Thanks, baby! See you, Take care. I love you”  CALL ENDED.



Over the phone

“Yes, Yas I am already here. Are you okay? Aren’t you sleepy? You want me to just go there?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m good. I’ll be there in a while. I will just ask my driver to drive me to the cafe.”

“Yes. Great and let him go home early. I will send you home later.” Jerry offered.

Ronnie overheard them talking on the phone.

“She’s coming over?” Ronnie asked.

“Yes, Dude! This is it. I think this is the day that I have been waiting for. I will ask her tonight if she can be my girlfriend. I have been waiting for this for a long time.” He was excited and suddenly felt awkward about it. “Ugh. Is it okay? I believe we have no hard feelings? Just like how I respected you and Yassy when it was your moment then?”

“Ugh. Yes. Of course! Goodluck dude. I know that she deserves you.” Ronnie answered. “I will just check the sales. See you around!” Tapped Jerry’s shoulder and left



Phoebe feeling uneasy wanted to send a message to her best friend Pots even if she’s just sitting across her. But she’s doubting that she might not understand.

“Guys, Caleb just texted me. Early out. We will just go to the church and finalize the date of the wedding. We’ll get back here as soon as we finish it.” Pots suddenly needed to leave the cafe and meet her fiance.

“Okay.” Cy was still busy reading the blogs of the anonymous writer and just waved her hand to Pots.

Phoebe, shocked and wasn’t ready that they will be left there on their own. Good thing Cy is reading some blogs. But oh wait!

“Oh! Great! Done reading.”  And got up from her position and smiled at Phoebe.

“Are you okay??? What is wrong with you? You have been quiet since I arrived.” Cy asked.

Stuttering, “Ugh, Yeah.Ugh, O-of course. I-ah, I’m okay.D’you want anything?”

“Wow! I wish we could hang out together more soon. This is really amazing!But Thank you. I am ah full today. Had lunch with Jed remember?”

“Ugh, okay. Are you guys dating?” Phoebe took the courage to ask.

“Hmm. Maybe? Or maybe not? I dunno if it’s dating. Like he only asked me to have lunch with him for a couple of times and nothing more than that. Why did you suddenly ask? Why are you suddenly interested?”  Cy trying to interrogate Phoebe.

“Hmm, nothing. You have been dating men for a long time and haven’t gotten into a relationship yet for a couple of years. Afraid to fall in love?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so. Maybe I just haven’t seen the best of them yet.”  She answered

“But seeing the best in them is not important. Seeing the worst in everyone is more important, dealing with it and learning how to accept their flaws.” Phoebe became a bit serious about the topic.

“Wow! Is that you Phoeb? Come on! What do you know about love?? You don’t even know how to court a girl. Hahaha” She said it sarcastically.

Phoebe felt a bit awkward about it. “You have no idea, what I can do to make a girl fall in love.”

“Okay, try me,” Cy answered courageously. “Let’s play”  Sat properly, moved closer, facing Phoebe. “We’re going to play the staring game! The first person who will wink will lose the game. Raise to 10 for a bucket of beer tonight! Okay? At the count of 3… One, two, three.”

Phoebe, without any reaction, found herself playing with Cy. It felt like everything stopped for a moment. They started staring at each other but not more than 10 seconds, Phoebe already lost the 1st game. One down! Cy became a little energetic. She moved closer to Phoebe again. And Phoebe felt even more tensed. She lost the second game. And the third and the fourth until Cy moved, even more, closer to Phoebe that they almost kissed. And you know what happened. “Haha 1 bucket for tonight! Woohoo!” Cy shouted happily. “Better luck next time.” Teasing Phoebe she took her tablet and started reading some blogs again. Phoebe excused herself and went to the restroom.



“Yassy? Where would you like to have dinner tonight?” Jerry asked

“Oh, it’s up to you.” She answered.

“You okay? You looked a bit tired today.”

“Ah yeah. I am okay. I just had a tough day.” 

“I actually talked to Ronnie this afternoon.”

“About what?” Yassy asked. 

“About… Us?” He answered

“Wai’ what? About us? What about us?” Yassy was a bit annoyed.

“Us. This. Yassy I have been waiting for this day to come. I respected Ronnie when he told me that you guys started dating and thought this day won’t come. See, it could’ve been us. It was supposed to be… US.” 

“Alright. Look Jerry I understand. But you do not need to ask permission to Ronnie.”

“It wasn’t a permission Yassy. It was a courtesy. I just think I have to tell him before other people do. Are you mad?”

“No, no. Definitely not. I’m sorry. I think I just feel really tired that’s why.”

“Okay then, let’s have dinner and I’ll drive you home so you can take a rest. Okay?”

“Alright thank you.”

Jerry decided to just discuss his thing with Yass some other time.



September

“Really? Oh my gosh! I don’t think it has something to do with it. But anyway, I’ll call you once I’m done working.” That’s Jes talking to Chase over the phone.

A couple of hours later

“Hey! Are you at home?” Jes called Chase. “Oh great! I’ll drop by your house”

Chase just got back to the Philippines a couple of days ago. Jes used to have a crush on him way back in High School. Thing is, Chase was too young then thinking nothing about girls and was only focused on playing computer games. He never really liked Jes then. He never noticed her.

Beep! Beep!

Jes getting off of the car while Chase was waiting for her outside their house. Stunned, he couldn’t even say a word.

“Hey! It’s been ages. How are you?”

“I-ah yeah I’m okay. Wow! Just wow Jes. You really look different”

“The fuck Chase. Shut up! This is still me.” 

Chase was a bit surprised seeing her again in person. Well after almost 2 decades. Catching up and updating each other. Chase’s mom suddenly went out and asked them to get in the house.

“Chase! Why are you not inviting Jes inside the house? Offer her a drink or something.”

“Hi Tita, good evening.  It’s okay. I’m leaving soon.”
“I insist. Come inside and have dinner here. I’ll cook something special.”

 “Wow! Alright, tita. Thank you.”

Chase and Jes found themselves on the couch leaning on each other while watching a movie.

“Oh my God! That is so funny.” Jes suddenly laughed while trying to sit properly. Took off the ponytail and slowly let her hair down.

Chase closed his eyes, “Wow Jes, you smell really good!” Staring at her, “Jes? What if?”

“Huh? What do you mean? What if what?”

“What if there I courted you in High School?” Chase asked.

“What if you courted me in High school? Hmm.. Then maybe we now live in a house together and we have kids? Why did you suddenly ask?”

“I just can’t believe it. You have grown to be a beautiful and smart woman” He added.

“Chase! I am still the old me. Nothing has changed!”

“Dinner is ready! Dig in!” Chase’s mom called them for dinner.

Jessica has been very close to the family of Chase. They lived in the same subdivision when they were young.



Phoebe: “Should I text her?” — “Okay, I will text her..”

1 message received!

Cyril: “Cy, can I see you today? I have something to tell you.”

“I’ll be at the cafe later at 4ish. Let’s meet up there.” She replied.

RING! RING!

“Cy!! Guess what?! I think I already know who the Anonymous Writer is!!!”

“Lexie, if you do not have anything good to say, just don’t bother me. I ain’t done reading the latest story yet.” A little-pissed off.

“Cy!!!! Okay here’s the deal. If I get a signature of the Anonymous Writer, you will pay for my tix to Bataan! G?”

“If you get to introduce me to the Anonymous Writer before the day ends, I will pay for your tix to Bataan.” 

“G!!!!See you at the cafe later” CALL ENDED



“So is everything done? We have this already. And this. Baby, which one do you think is better? This or this?” Tiff Asked Matt.

“Baby I think you should ask Darlene.She’s the one who will celebrate her birthday.”

“But this is a surprise party Baby. So I need your opinion about this.” Looking at some souvenirs at the mall —

“Tiff?!?!?! Matt?!?!” 

They both looked behind them. Surprised. “Oh my God! It’s true!” A friend back in college yelled.

“Hahaha oh, my Gosh! How are you, Mimi?” 

“So it is true! I thought it was just a rumor. How long have you been guys dating?”Mimi asked.

Well..

Real ending??? They saw each other at the restaurant.. Brian with his wife and 2 kids.. They got back from Australia. Tiffany? Dating Matt.

PART I: What might have been

https://theanonymouswritersnotebook.wordpress.com/2016/09/01/what-might-have-been/

“Well yeah, we have been together for a year now. We started dating last year and everything is okay. How are you?” Tiff asked.

Matt was a little off. He left the souvenir area and told Tiff that he will just look for some other thing around the place.

Mimi sniggered.

While looking at some souvenirs “Ah yeah really? One year huh? That’s nice. And how’s Matt as a boyfriend?” Mimi asked.

Holding one souvenir and looking for an assistant, Tiff answered “Oh he is really a wonderful boyfriend. The best boyfriend ever!”

Smirking from behind, Mimi whispered sarcastically. “Really! You wish”

Tiff: “I’m sorry?” 

“Ah, nothing. I said that’s good to hear.” She answered.“So I’ll see you around? Just say goodbye to Matt for me.” 

“Sure! See you around! Catch up more soon”



CAFE

Phoebe looking for Cy at the cafe found Jes. “Hi Ms. Jessica”

“Hi! It’s you.” Jessica greeted her and smiled.

She smiled back and looked for Cy. And she found her. Same spot.

“Hi, Cy!”

“Hi, Phoeb. Hey, check this out! The Anonymous writer has a new story. I just wish I get to see her in person. I really like her stories.” She said.

“If you get to meet her in person, what’chu gonna do?”  Phoebe asked.

“Well, I’d be the happiest person on Earth!”

Phoebe smiled. “I see. Excuse me I will just go to the restroom.”

RING!! RING!!

“I am on my way! Yes! Yes! Yes!” That’s Lexie.

“No, No wait! Lex, I need your help!!!!” Phoebe called Lexie trying to ask for help.

“Help? I do not have money.” Lexie answered.

“No, no, listen. You need money for your tix to Bataan right? Let’s make a deal. Tell me who the Anonymous writer is and I will pay for your Bataan tix.” Phoebe offered.

“FOR REALLL??” Lexie asked.

“Yes. Just tell me who she is and I will pay for it. Right away!”

“Why are you guys suddenly interested in finding the Anonymous writer??”

“Okay. I will tell you something. But please, keep it as a secret first. Not until I get the courage to tell her that I like her. okay? Promise?” Phoebe trying to tell her secret to Lexie

“Like her? Like who? Okay, I promise. And can we just talk about it there? I am almost there.”

“Wait! Wait no. Don’t – yet. She’s here.”

Lexie, CONFUSED.“Huh?”

“Okay. I like Cy. I like her a lot. I dunno, when, how and why. But I suddenly felt like I really like her. And she mentioned that she’s going to be very happy if she gets to meet the Anonymous writer. You know she’s a fan. And I heard you asking her to pay for your Bataan tix if you will be able to introduce her to the writer. Please. I want to make her happy. Please help me.” Phoebe explained.

“Wow! (singing) All my friends are wasted. Kidding! What the hell is happening here?! Okay okay. Deal.” Lexie agreed.



 

What happened to Phoebe and Lexie’s plan? Who is Mimi? When is Jerry going to ask Yassy to be his girlfriend? Why is Ronnie jealous? What’s going to happen to Jess and Chase? Will Cy get the chance to meet the Anonymous writer?

 

Featured Image (c) imjaydejavier (instagram)

Love Stories

Why can’t it be?

©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

When will I find him? When will I be happy again? When will this fear end? Am I really a strong person when it comes to love or I am just afraid of falling in love again? Why can’t we have the person that we want? Or why can’t we learn to love the person who is willing to love us? And is it really possible to love another woman?? Or Even when a man is already taken or married? Why?…. And Why can’t it be?

 

 

 

I met him in 2013. I used to be friends with the owner of the company where he used to work. Steve. Steve is a very quiet guy who comes to work early and leaves late. He obeys and follows the rules and was never late nor absent. In short he is a good employee. He comes home right after the shift. He has a wife. They got married in 2010 and they have been together for almost a decade now. In other words..? He is a good husband. Their life was so much different with how I spent my childhood days. Buying this and that in a snap. Travelling anywhere we want. In short I had a good life back then. I used to be a brat.. Which led me to this life that I have now. I am Jessica. A single mother. I actually don’t need to work. I can have anything that I want anytime. I party a lot. I drink a lot. I smoke a lot. I dress up the way I want but for the past 15 years of my kid, I never came home pregnant again. Why? Because I learned and I am afraid of falling in love again. My family is very tight. I don’t care if I am single because I am very close with my siblings and my parents. Sure am lucky to be JESSICA. But very unfortunate when it comes to love. And when can I find the one? When can I say I have found him? When will I stop searching for the right man? Well yes, believe it or not – I HAVE FOUND HIM. I HAVE FOUND THE PERFECT GUY ON EARTH. The one who can handle my attitude. The one who can manage my flaws. The one who learned to accept me for who I am… But why do I still have this question on my mind? Why can’t it be? 😞😑

Pete: “Steve this is Jessica my friend. She used to be my co-worker and she’s really good at this field. But she still wants to learn more about how we do this job so I would like you to take care of her and make her feel like one of us. Alright? You have to make sure that she will learn from you because she will work in a different office.”

Steve: Surprised. Cannot look at me straight in the eyes. Shy. “ah. Sure sir!”

I was very jolly when I met him. Just like how I deal with other people. Very confident and very enthusiastic. “Hi! I’m Jessica and it’s nice to meet you!”

He was so shy on our first meeting. But for some reason, I was very excited to work with him.

Pete: “Team, we will be having our summer outing this March and I would like all of you to be there. Jessica it is just near your place so I want you to be there too.”

March.

Ring..ring..

“Hi Pete! I actually don’t know if I could come over because I am still here at home attending to my kid. But I’ll try to be there tonight.”

“Please do so. The whole team is excited to bond with you. They find you really funny, enthusiastic and well yeah intimidating. But I told them that you are nice LOL! See you later!”

Shoot! It’s almost 10! I fell asleep gosh! Took the car keys and headed on to the area.

Tina, the other employee was singing when I arrived. And everybody was shocked staring at me.

“Hi Pete! Sorry I’m late. Had to drive for an hour and dropped by a convenient store for you guys. Wine for everyone!”

Whispered. “Hey Tina, why was everybody staring at me when I arrived? I don’t think they like me.”😑😔

“Jes, they all like you. I swear to God, they are all shy. They were talking awhile ago and they said that they find you really amazing. You came here wearing a tank top, shorts, sneakers, without make up, very simple but elegant. And you smell really good! They are actually intimated but they are all excited to bond with you”

“But I will not stay for too long. I have work tomorrow. So I have to go home early. I am not even planning to stay overnight. I just really had to bring the wine for you guys.”

After an hour. 

“Hey! Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes. All good! Thanks!”

“Care for a drink?” He offered.

“Sure! Thanks!” I answered.

After two hours.

“Hahaha really? That’s hilarious! Like I have never tried that in my life! Like that’sone hell of a roller coasted ride!”

4:00 in the morning. Everybody was in the pool playing. Two were talking on the side. Three were drinking on the other side and others were just enjoying the warm water.

And us? We found ourselves talking on the edge of the pool.

“So, how long have you been working with Pete?”

“Been working with him for the past 6 years and everything is just, just..okay.”

“I see. Well, I think I have to call it a night. I really have to go. I said I’ll stay here for only 30 minutes but it’s already 4:30 in the morning. I will have to drive myself back home for an hour. I’ll catch you later! And by the way. Thanks for today. Thanks for entertaining me. I had fun talking with you.” 😊

“My pleasure!”

Headed back home and took a nap for a few hours and woke up to work.

“Hey Tina! Are you home yet?” 

“Hey Jes! Yeah. Just got back home. We slept late, woke up late and left the resort late. But everything’s good! What’s up?”

“Kindly tell everybody thank you and I had fun last night. I just can’t stay any longer even if I wanted to. You know I work in a different office and my schedule is different so, I really had to go home. And hmm by the way. Kindly tell Steve thanks for entertaining me last night. When it was supposed to be you — attending to me haha but it’s okay. It was nice knowing him.”

“You like him?”

“Huh? Yes! No! I mean. Yes. As a friend. What the fudge are you saying?!” 

“Hmm okay. Just making sure. Jes? He’s a married man. I just want to remind you.”

Okay. So he’s a married man. Got it. Next please! 

Ting! Friend request. Oh shoot! It’s him. Accepted!

“Hi! Thanks!”

“Hi! Thanks for last night!”

“I ah. Hmm it’s okay. My pleasure. I actually ahmmm.. Was doubting if.. I’d add you on facebook ‘coz you’re a rich kid and ah.. I don’t know. I really find you intimidating. But hey! I know that you are nice. I just feel like, you’d snob me since I’m just a simple person.”

“Hey! What’s up with you? Hahaha whatever it is that you find difficult in me, don’t mind it. I am not snobbish. I don’t care if someone is rich or poor. I don’t mind if a person is cool or not. Besides, I am not rich. My family is. But not me.” 

“You are the coolest person I have ever met Jes! I’m glad I have met you”

And it all started there. It was at 2 in the afternoon when we first had our exchange of thoughts and words through chatting. And then? It never ended. We talked and talked like we’ve known each other for a decade now. He’s nice and I really find him cool. Regardless of his family background and having a wife, all I cared about then was to make friends with him.

“Hahaha that was cool! You’re really a nice person. I envy your bf. He must be very lucky to have you!”

“Boyfriend? Haha I have been single for a long time! You silly!”

“Oh! Wh! Wait what?! You’re single? Bu.. But why? I mean, you are gorgeous, you are a very kind person, very down to earth, and you are a very independent woman. How come you are single?”

“Question is. Is there something wrong being single? I am not gorgeous. I also have flaws. I only have the personality. I would prefer men liking or loving me for who I am, learning to accept my foible. Beauty fades, attitude stays.”

Tic toc tic toc tic toc.

“Gosh we have been chatting for almost 14 hours. God! Hahaha world record!”

“Yeah. And I learned a lot of things from you. Thank you Ms. Beautiful. Go to bed now.”

“Yup! I also had fun. You too. Take a rest now.”

“Goodnight” he said.

“Have a good sleep.”

Ringgggg! Ringggg!

“Whow! What? Hahahaha” I was surprised. He called me online right after saying goodnight. “Thought it’s time to say goodnight?”

“Hmmm yeah. Goodnight.”

“Then why did you call?”

“Goodnight. To say goodnight?”

“Alright goodnight you silly young man! End the call now.”

“No, don’t end the call.” He said.

“Ugh. Okay. Then how can I sleep? If we are on the line?”

“Just sleep. I’ll ah.. Stay here. Just go to sleep. And do not end the call.”

“Awww. Okay. Haha. Goodnight.”

After two minutes.

“Hmmm you still up?” I asked.

“Ssshhhh just sleep. I am just here. I’ll stay until you get to fall asleep.”

10 in the morning. Fuck my phone is like overheating. And guess what?! He is still there on the line. Checked my phone right away!

“Ugh. Hello? Are you up?”

“Good morning Ms. Gorgeous. Yes. I slept late. I waited for you to snore so I’d know that you are already sleeping. But you didn’t. Then I woke up early to be the first person to greet you good morning.”

“Wow. Just wow. You are the craziest! Did you even sleep? Like. Geez. That’s a 5-hour call and you didn’t even have enough sleep.”

“It’s okay. I just want to see you first thing in the morning. Get up now! Take a shower. I’ll take a shower too. Please have breakfast and then text me when you’re done. And by the way! I’m sorry I did something that might get me into trouble. I kept on staring at you this morning. You really look wonderful while sleeping. Wish one day I could wake up with you.” he said. 

“Goodness gracious! The reason why I don’t sleep with someone is because I don’t like them seeing me sleeping! Gosh. Hahaha you are ampf. Whatever! Get up now!”

“Hmmm 10 minutes please? Just stay here with me for 10 more minutes” 

By the way. That’s a video call. And it continues in the next few days.

It became a routine then. Waking up together. Eating together.ONLINE. Texting. Calling each other. Sending sweet messages and working together.. Again..? ONLINE. And then repeat.

Few weeks later..

“Hmmm babe? When will I see you again?”😞 he asked.

“Hmmm you have been seeing me everyday.”

“Online. 😔 hugging you online. Kissing you goodnight online. I want to hug you. Like a real hug” he said.

It was Friday then.

“Hmmm I’ll see you tomorrow?” 😁😊

“For reallllll???” He sounded really excited.

“Do not drive your car. I’ll pick you up”

It was the first meeting right after the last. And it was the first right after we started the thing.

We were so happy. Like a real couple. Holding hands while driving. Hugging each other. Eating together and kissing like there’s no tomorrow.

“If only.” He whispered while hugging me.

“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked.

“Nada. Just. Forget it. What do you want to eat? Come on! Let’s have lunch! Coffee or something?”

“You know I am always on a diet. I am really not a fan of eating. But okay, ofcourse I’ll go with you.”

It was 4 months then without having rice. I was on a strict diet until..

“Nope! You have eat this. And this. And this. And this! These are all yours okay? Do not deprive yourself from eating. I like you the way you are. You don’t have to go on a diet. And I will not get tired of reminding you to eat and eat and eat.”

He was the only person who made me love food again.

We were so happy forgetting all our problems. He was so sweet preparing food for me. Waking up with a cup of coffee and cigars on the table. Preparing every meal for me. Paying for everything that we spent. Treating me like a princess that nobody has ever made me feel. He knows how to manage my flaws. We never argued. We were always laughing. We were always singing together. We were.. We JUST were extremely happy not thinking that he has a wife. And yes. The wife. Where is the wife?

(Brief background) His wife left him right after they got married. She had to work in Europe. She comes home visiting him only once a year. For a couple of weeks. In short, she decided to just spend time earning money instead of taking good care of his husband.

And now I figured. He found everything that he was looking for in a wife. Too bad, he has found it — in me.

Until it’s time to say goodbye.

While we were hugging in front of a beautiful view on the rooftop.

“Babe, I will be going home soon. Thanks for this wonderful bonding. I really don’t want to go home yet. But, I have to.” I was a little sad then.

“Ssshhh.” Held my face close to his.

“Babe? Thank you. I have never felt this happy even before. And I am just very glad that even if there are these men who are longing to have you, you chose me over them. And I am the luckiest person on earth right now.” Kissed me on the forehead and whispered. “If only I could just wake up each morning with you, I would.” Teary eyed.


“Babe?why?” he asked.

“What do you mean why?”

“Why are you so gorgeous?”

“Fudge. Whatever. I am not gorgeous. I only have the personality. I told you.”

He loves asking me the question WHY, in the middle of somewhere, in the middle of a serious convo, in the middle of the night. He asks me WHY like more than 50 times a day. Only to say, I am gorgeous in my own little way.

Went back home. Days and weeks passed by. And the routine continues. Until one day.

“Steve. Can I see you in my office?” Pete called his attention.

Headed there and was surprised with what happened.

“Steve? Why Jes? Why do you have to cheat? What is wrong with you? Give me 5 reasons why Jes? Why not other girls? She’s not like that. She won’t fall for someone who is already married. I know her so well. We have been friends for a long time and she is not that type of woman. She knows her limitations. What have you done? Why? Somebody saw you guys together. You are a married man. Whether or not your wife is far from you and done you wrong many times, you still should not cheat on her.”

“Sir? One question. Why not Jessica?” 

And the shoddy life started. Felt like my world fell apart.

“What do we do now?” I asked him. “Steve, everybody’s mad at us. I don’t know what to do.”

“Babe? Stay. I don’t know how to handle this. Everybody thinks I am the most miserable person on earth. Please stay. You’re the only person that I have now.”

Since then, I never smiled again. I stayed. But the pain in my heart is still there. The routine continues. But little by little we both tried our best to give up on each other without even talking about it. Cold nights. Cold convos. Cold scenes. No more hugs. No more kisses. “Online”

One morning.

“Steve? I think, it’s time to say goodbye. Fix all your problems. Prepare yourself. Be ready for what could happen. You see, you are the very first person whom I consider the perfect guy for me. You can manage my flaws. You can make me stay at home. You are the only one who made me sleep early. Who made me eat despite of the strict dieting.  You are the only person whom I’m scared of not seeing and talking everyday. The only person who would always check what I’m wearing before I leave the house. I never got hurt. I never felt any pain for the past few months……… Only now. And if we will not end this now, I might fall for you too much that I won’t be able to handle it anymore. You do not belong to me. You belong to your wife. And it might hurt us more if we will continue to be like this. I want you to forget me. I want you to give up on me and not your wife.”

“Babe.. No. Stay. Please stay.” 

I tried my best not to entertain his messages anymore that it’s already killing me inside. We still update each other though. But not like before. Until..

“Hi babe! Hmm how’s your day?” He sent me a message.

“Steve!!! Please stop calling me babe! We’re over okay?? Stop calling me! Stop sending me sweet messages! Like you don’t have to fuckin update me every fuckin day’ I don’t want to receive any messages from you anymore! So please?” 

I was never really mad. I was crying when I sent him the message. I just really need to respond that way. So he’d stop. It felt like saying things that you really don’t mean to. Saying things and feeling the other way around. And that day I felt like, I just died.

“Babe, I know that you are just saying that but that is not what you want. Please stay. Stay a little longer. I am leaving soon. My application was approved. And I only want to spend the last few days with you. So please stay. I’m flying to Europe soon.”

I died twice that day. 

I wanted to stay. But if I’d stay, it will hurt us more. STILL.. I stayed.

“Hi. Have you finished all the documents? Were you able to finish all the papers today? Have you bought things  for your wife? Buy her things so you’d have something to give her when you arrive.” I tried my best to be stay.. As a friend.

“Why?” He asked. “Why are you gorgeous?”

“Steve, buy something for her family too.” I tried not to entertain things about us.

“Babe?” He was crying. Over the phone.

“Why are you so kind? Why do have to do this? I know that I have been hurting you so so much. That it’s also killing me inside. You are just an awesome woman. I don’t know why God gave you to me and now God is getting you back from me.”

“Steve? God has his own reasons. You see, I met you because I have been single for a long time. And maybe He said, Jes, I know that you have been happy for a long time and you never got hurt. I will touch your heart for a little while. I will have to make you feel hurt again. Just a pinch in the heart. We have to make it soft again. And then He said, Steve, you are so weak. You have been nice to people. You always say yes even if you’ve been hurt many times. Only because you were not strong. And I will use you as an instrument to teach a hard headed and heart and to learn from a strong woman.”

He cried a lot. And so I died again.

After a few days. We both decided to see each other for the last time. I went to visit him but with my friends this time.

“Hey! We are already here in the hotel. Text me or call me when you are already on your way.” Texted him.

2ish. 

“hahahaha no way Liza! Okay strike a pose! Let’s try a different one.”

My friends and I were having a photoshoot. When I glanced on my right side, there’s this guy standing and staring at me from a great distance.

“Oh! Wait guys.” I was surprised. Went down to where he was standing. Pretended that everything was okay and that I am not even hurt. Took something in the room of the hotel and went in to his car.

“Why didn’t you call me? I told you to call me when you’re on your way. And why were you not even calling my attention that you are already there. How many minutes have you been waiting there?” I asked.

“Nothing. I have been there for almost 20 minutes. Staring at you. Praying to God. Bless this woman that I am looking at right now. Give her the best man on Earth. I love this woman so much that I can’t even have. Please take away all the pain in her heart.” He cried.

“Okay! I see. Ugh. Yeah. By the way, I know that you didn’t even buy something for yourself. So take this with you and use it.” Tried my best not to cry. I pretended that I really don’t care about what he was saying. But I died again. “Can you drive me to the market? I just need to buy something.” 

While driving. I kept on singing party songs and trying not to keep the drama in the car.

“Here! Okay just wait in the car. I’ll be very quick!”

“Hey! How much is this? Hahaha oh my!” Trying to keep the mood happy. Dealing with the vendors laughing. And then I caught him. Caught him inside the car taking a video of me.

“Okay I’m done. Let’s go!” Heading back to the hotel. He held my hand.

“I took a video of you. I want to see you laughing and smiling until my last day here in the US”

For two hours of being together. He has been staring at me. I can see the pain in his eyes. I can see that he’s hurting. Only because he never learned the art of pretending how to show people that everything is just fine. And that is what I have been doing.

“Okay. We are here. Hmmm thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being the perfect person that you can be. I am sorry for falling in love. I never intended to ruin anybody’s relationship. Please forget everything about me. I don’t want you to have comparisons when you see her. Please take care of yourself. Learn from this mistake and never do it again. Coz if you’d do it again, the next woman might not be like me, might not understand and might just ruin your whole life and relationship with your wife.”

He did not say a word. And just kissed me. And so I kissed him back. We were kissing in the car. While tears kept on falling.. Then. I pushed him away from me.

“It’s time to say goodbye Steve.”

He hugged me for one last time. Took my face and kissed me again.

“Go now! Leave.” in a shaky voice. 

I was looking at him while he was walking back in the car. Then he went back to me.

Crying. Kissed me again. Hugged me so tight. And for the last time. Kissed me on the forehead. His tears were falling on my head. Still I tried my best not to cry again. I don’t want to show him that I am hurting. And as he was driving away from me, looking at the side mirror, I only smiled at him. And when the car is already far from me, TEARS FELL DOWN on my face.

He sent me a message when he got back home.

“Babe? I never really wanted to let go of you. I really don’t want to. But it seems like you have already decided to let go. I can’t stop crying.”

It was so sudden, that I woke up one morning and it’s the day that I will die more than 5 times.

As I opened my eyes. Saw his messages on my phone.

“It’s time. I only have this one last day left. Later tonight, I won’t be seeing your messages anymore. I won’t be hearing your laughter and giggles anymore. I won’t be reading your good mornings and goodnights anymore. I won’t be feeling your hugs and kisses anymore. And the hardest part is, Today, I will die more than 10 times because today I will be losing the perfect woman that I met in my entire life. Thank you. Thank you for staying even if you are already hurting. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for making me happy in the past few months. Thank you loving me the best way you can. Thank you for being you. And thank you for letting me go. Because I cannot let you go. And given the chance. I will not let you go.”

I cried many times. Tried my best to make him feel better. And just made the convo light. He kept on updating me that day. Telling me that he is already inside the airport and that he’s about to leave in a few minutes.

“I’m scared. I don’t know how to feel right now.” he said.

“Stay calm. Everything’s gonna be alright. Pray. I will never forget you. Thank you for everything. And I will never get tired of thanking you and praying for you and your wife. The next time I see you, I want to see you with your wife and kids.”

“Babe? THANK YOU. I will never get tired of thanking you. I will forever be thankful of having you in my life. And given the chance to have the this roller coaster ride again, I’D STILL DO IT WITH YOU.”

“Steve? always remember that I am just here. I will always be here for you as a friend. Given the chance, God forbid, but yes, If I’d get to see you again? And you’re single? I’ll make sure that I have a ring with me and I’ll be the one to propose to you. I swear I’d do that. hahaha”

“Jes? Babe? Ms. Gorgeous? This is a mistake for everybody, yes. But for me, YOU ARE THE GREATEST MISTAKE THAT I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF COMMITTING AGAIN and AGAIN. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST MISTAKE AND THE MOST WONDERFUL WOMAN THAT I HAVE EVER MET.THANK YOU”

“I never admitted it, I never said it. But yes, I learned to love you and I will never REGRET everything about US. It was ONE HELL OF A ROLLER COASTER RIDE! Thanks for this adventure. You will be the first and the last ADVENTURE that I will ever take. And if not with you, I won’t dare do it again. I will miss you.”

Tic toc tic toc.. 10ish

Ring!

“Hello?” I tried not to cry.

“Babe?” He was crying.

“I’m now about to get in the plane. I will miss you. THANK YOU.”

“Steve? No. Thank you.”

“Jes? Why?”

“Why are you so gorgeous?” crying.

And then I just smiled. And for the very first time. I answered. “Because you made me feel like I am the happiest person on earth. I am gorgeous because of you. Thank you. Goodbye.” And I quickly ended the call.

Sometimes, we find love in our own little way. Sometimes, love finds us. Sometimes, we get to fall in love with the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes, we fall in love with the person who cannot love us back. There are – SOME – who have already found the right person for them and are now living with their happy ending. 

BUT.. MOST OF THE TIME — we meet people, who will teach us, who will learn from us, who will leave a mark and who will come back for us. If it is meant to happen, God will find his way to make it happen. 

I cried for a couple days only because I got used to waking up in the morning seeing his messages. Talking with him over the phone. Or maybe because I just missed him. Oh well! I think it’s time to find the next in line. I’ll get ready for that. Get up Jes! make yourself busy. You will have to attend an event next month. You silly young lady! Go! Go!

After a month..

“Hey! What’s up? haha how have you been?” was talking to my friend that I didn’t get to see for a couple of years.

“Hey dude! Who is she?” oooohhhh! I think he’s next in line..

TO BE CONTINUED. Book II soon.. Thanks for reading! ^^

DISCLAIMER: This is a story of another friend who requested to write a book for her. It has AGAIN a little twist though. Let’s find out more of this new guy in BOOK II.🙂

🎧”Why can’t it be.. Why can’t it be the two of us..Why can’t we be lovers.. Only friends
You came along At a wrong place, at a wrong time..You came along At a wrong place, at a wrong time..Or was it me” 🎧

Love Stories

Didn’t we almost have it all.. The Sumilon Island story.. (Cebu, Philippines)

©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

“We sometimes fight for love, because we choose to fight for it — Even if we know that we will never win it..”

-TheAnonymousWriter-

 

………………………..It was 10 in the evening when I decided to take a bath. I wonder why I have been so tired the whole day when all I did was just to sit and work in the office. Took the towel and headed on to the bathroom.

Slowly dipped into the hot tub and.. ugh.. feels great. This is what I always do when I am tired… I would always choose to stay in the tub for an hour or two when I am tired or stressed at work than to go out and party. Staring at the ceiling with random things on my mind. What might have been? What could have been? What if? Shoulda, woulda, coulda. “brain drain” yes! I think I need a break. Took me some time to have finally decided on what to do…

Done! And yeah. okay, that’s it. Now, where did I put my laptop?? Where to?? Hmmm with or without someone?

“Jenny? Would you like to come with me tomorrow?Planning to go to Cebu….Oh! Okay.. I’ll see you next time then.”

“Hey Julie what’s up! You free tomorrow? Would you like to unwind? Let’s book a flight to Cebu tomorrow!!!! Ugh, I see. Okay. Maybe next time..”

“Pete!!! Want to go boy hunting tomorrow? Let’s fly to Cebu! It’ll be fun… Oh sure! You gay! Let’s catch up soon..”

Alright then, I guess it’s going to be just me… Again.. The hardest part of being single.

Booked! 10 am, March 8, 2016. See you tomorrow Cebu! Goodnight everyone…

7 in the morning… prepped up and headed to the airport…

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen! Welcome aboard. Flight 507 bound for Cebu. Please fasten your seatbelt and refrain from smoking while the NO SMOKING sign is on. From Captain Lopez and the crew, it is our pleasure to serve you today. If there is anything you need to make your flight enjoyable, please let us know. Thank you.”

14009798_199313210472040_1394907759_n2
(c) imjaydejavier

 

“Oh Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for making my life awesome. I may not be that happy..for now.. because I am single but I sure am grateful for everything that you provide me. I am very blessed with family and everything that I have. Thank you for all of this. Please bless this flight.”

Took my headset, played a song and I fell into sleep.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Cebu. Local time is 11:15 in the morning. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten your seatbelt sign. This will indicate the sign that we have already parked at the gate and that is it safe for you to move about.

Please check around your seat for any belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight.

If you require deplaning assistance, please remain seated until all other passengers have already deplaned and an attendant will come to you and will be pleased to assist you.

On behalf of Cebu Pacific, Captain Lopez and his crew, Thank you for flying with us. We are all looking forward to seeing you again in your next flight. Have a great day ahead and enjoy your vacation.”

Oh great! Finally. When I was about to deplane, I accidentally dropped my cell phone. Oh crap! ugh. So clumsy!

“Here..”  and smiled…

“Oh! Why.. Thank you.” A guy suddenly handed me my phone. Who is he? He looks cute though. Anyway, I got off the plane and headed to pick up my luggage.

12:00 in the afternoon…

“I think it’s better to have lunch first. I need to eat first.” 

Inhale..exhale… This is life! I have never felt this for a long time… Okay.. So, I better go to the hotel first and I’ll have lunch there.

A van came to pick me up and drive me to the hotel. I had a reservation at The Shang Mactan.

On my way to the hotel, the driver asked.

“Ma’am welcome to Cebu. Kayo lang po ba? Taga saan po kayo?” (Ma’am, welcome to Cebu, are you alone? Where are you from?”

“Yes, ako lang kuya.” (Yes, I’m alone on this trip.” I answered. He’s very nice to ask and chat with me to make me feel at ease while traveling to the hotel.

“Ma’am andito na po tayo. Sana po mag enjoy po kayo dito sa Cebu” (Ma’am we just arrived at the hotel. I hope you enjoy your stay here”

“Sure. Thanks!” Gave him a tip and smiled at him.

“Hi! Reservation for Atty. Yasiera Mae Rondillo.” 

“Hi, Atty.! Welcome to Shang Mactan. Here’s the key to your deluxe room 407. Enjoy your stay here!”

Smiled and headed to my room right away. As I lay me down to bed, I thought of what the driver asked me a while ago. “Are you alone on this trip?”  I wonder why most people ask if a person goes on a trip alone. What is wrong with going on a trip alone? Anyhow, welcome to Cebu Yassy.. Let’s do this!

Took a quick shower and prepped up for today’s activity. White tee goes with a pair of denim shorts and hmm how about a nude pair of gladiator sandals?! Alright, that would do. Oh and… hmm my hat! My co-worker Liza gave this to me two months ago. So where to first? Oh, my I haven’t eaten yet. I almost forgot. Locked the hotel room and went to the reception. “Hi, I wonder if there is someone available who can assist me for today’s trip?” “Of course Atty. please have a seat and I will call the one available to accompany you today.” “Thank you”

After a couple of minutes. “Ma’am, your driver has arrived. Just tell him the places that you would like to visit or see. And he will take you there. Have fun!”

Thanked the guard and winked at him. When I was about to approach the van, I saw the driver smiling at me. Opened the door and said, “Hello Ma’am ako po ulit ito.” (Hello, Ma’am it’s me again) “Oh hello sir! It’s nice to see you again today.” “Ma’am saan nyo po gusto muna magpunta?”(Ma’am where would like to go first?) 

“Sir, right at this moment? I actually do not have any idea. I haven’t eaten anything yet though. But I don’t really know what to do first… I just want to.. I just want to take a break… I don’t want to think of anything..”

“Sige po ma’am, alam ko na po kung saan ko kayo unang dadalin” (Alright ma’am, I think I already know where you need to go first” And he smiled.

I do not know if I would feel bad or scared of where this man could take me to, but all I can feel that time was, he is a good person.

It took us a little time before heading on to the place.  Feels like the day is getting a little boring. I dunno if it’s because I still am tired or just because I am overwhelmed with how good Cebu is. Anyhow, I think the driver felt that I am a little quiet and he asked me some questions.

“Ma’am wag nyo pong mamasamain ang aking tanong. Sa tagal ko na po sa trabahong ito, pang-walo pa lang po kayo sa taong naihatid ko ng solo dito sa Cebu, wala po ba kayong boyfriend? asawa? pamilya? Pasensya na po. Napansin ko lang po na para kayong malungkot” (Ma’am I hope you don’t mind. I’ ve been working in this field for a long time and you’re the 8th person that I have served here going on a trip alone. Don’t you have a boyfriend? husband? family? I am sorry ma’am, I just noticed that it seems like you are a little sad)”

Staring outside the window of the car, I smiled and answered. “Ok lang ako kuya, sanay akong mag isa. Madalas nagbabakasyon ako kasama ng pamilya, mga kaibigan. Pero mas madalas solo. Biglaan na plano lagi. Nag eenjoy naman ako so far.” (I’m okay sir. I’m used to it. I usually spend my vacation with my family, close friends. But most of the time, I go alone. Unplanned. But I I enjoy it so far.)

He just gave me a quick smile while nodding. I bet he believed I really am enjoying my trip alone.

A few minutes later…

“Ma’am, andito na po tayo. Sasakay po kayo ng bangka. Mga 30-40 minutes po. Hindi nyo po pagsisihan ang lugar na ito. Sana’y ma enjoy nyo po ang tour ninyo. Welcome to SUMILON ISLAND ma’am. (Ma’am, we just arrived. You will take a boat ride for 30-40 minutes. You won’t regret this trip ma’am. I hope you’ll be able to enjoy this tour. Welcome to SUMILON ISLAND ma’am)

When as I was about to pick up my things, he opened the door of the van and took my bags.

“Wow! Just wow!”

14054773_10209993987794743_1537957862_n.jpg
(c) rchrd.sl

The first time I had a glance at it, I fell in love right away. It suddenly changed my mood. Thanked the driver for taking me here. And smiled.

Inhale.. Exhale.. Wow.. This is life…

Took the boat ride and embraced each and every minute of what I am seeing… After 30-40 minutes, we have finally arrived at Sumilon Island.

Wow. Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful view. You are just amazing.

14060168_201291726940855_937407996_o.jpg
(c) rchrd.sl

 

Looked for a spot and unrolled my tube skirt given by my mom when she visited Boracay a year ago and sat down.

Wow! I still can’t believe there is a spot here in the Philippines like this. Oh well, ME-TIME starts now.

 

 

Took my tank top and shorts off. Wore my sunglasses, sat down and thought of random things…

14054604_201440896925938_1352731145_n.jpg

 

 

 

“Excuse me? Yas? Yasiera Mae? Atty. Rondillo? The famous Yassy Rondi of batch 1996? Jerry!! Jerry Cecillo of batch 1995. Remember? The slim boy..? Ronie’s best friend?.. Hmm, The bully guy…Okay.. I think I talk too much..?”

Giggled. “But of course! I remember you. I will never forget you.”

 

 

FLASHBACK! August of 2001…

“I know! hahaha But baby, I think it is better if we just hang out with them later?! What do you think?”

“Yeehee, you want to spend more time with me?!”

“YOU WISH! hahaha kiddin! Of course, and you have been hanging out with them since last Tuesday because of basketball. Let’s watch a movie first… please, please, please?” 

“Alright, baby. You win!” 

Back to the beach.. 2016…

“What’s up? How are you?”

“All good! How are you? We never heard anything about you hmm after the issue.”He said

“Oh! Yeah. Right after I graduated from Law, I went back to the US and stayed there for a couple of years. Until my grandmother died in 2006, so I went back home here. I took the bar exam in 2008 and started working in 2009 in Makati. I now have my law firm.” I answered.

“Okay wait! So you mean, you’ve been here since 2006?”

“Yes.”

“What the! Wait, wait! Are you with someone? Family? Friends? Husband? Boyfriend?”  He asked.

Giggled. “This is the second time someone asked me if I am with someone on this trip. And the same answer, I am alone on this trip. And still single.”

“For real?? Okay. Ugh. I have no idea, what this is all about, or why this is happening. But is it okay, if I invite you for dinner later?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that?” I answered.

“Great! Where do you stay?”

“I am staying at Shang mactan, this is supposed to be a day trip, but I might just look for a lodging here then I will just, I dunno, whatever the plan is later, just let me know.”

“Cool! Can I have your number? catch up maybe?”

“Sure! It’s 09178925763”

“I’ll call you later! See you! I’ll just get back to the friends and I’ll call you later!” 

“Alright. Laters!” Smiled and started playing some songs on my phone. Wondered, what was it all about?

FLASHBACK.. November of 2004…

“I know Ronnie! But, listen, okay. it was my fault.I know it was my fault. Come on baby, why can’t you just forgive me. I mean, it wasn’t really a big deal. I know that hurt your feelings, but do you really think I would do that? Do you really think I can do that? Or do you really think I WILL DO THAT?? Of course not! It’s just that, I think, you are stressed out at work and your mom is a little annoying these days, and that you lost your wallet. I just.. I just think you need to spend time alone. And that I think, you are experiencing these things because of me..”

“Yassy? Please. Can you just… Can you just leave me alone?”

“What is wrong with you!? It wasn’t intentional! I mean, please baby, okay I am so sorry. I never really wanted to leave. I won’t do that. I was just thinking about you and that maybe your life became a mess when we started dating. You lost your wallet, you forgot your monthly report at work, you lost the game twice, your car’s a mess, you.. you.. your life just became different when I came. “

“Look! We have been dating for almost 3 months now. We act like as if we really are a couple, we may not be committed to each other anymore but I learned to love you. I am used to seeing you every day, you are aware that I ain’t ready for any relationship yet, since the day Jenny died. It has always been very traumatic every time I get to fall in love with a person because I don’t want the person to leave me. And here you are, telling me that you will leave me for a moment only because you think that you are the bad luck in my life! What the fuck yassy!”

“Baby, all I want you to say is.. STAY..” I cried. 

BEACH.. 2016..

“Hi, Yassy! Jerry here. I’ll see you at 7ish? I’ll just prep up..Same spot..And let’s decide there..” 

I stayed at a coffee shop somewhere there. A small spot where I can stay to check my email. Okay. I guess I will have to go there now. And wait for Jerry.

As I was approaching the spot where Jerry saw me this noon, there was this guy walking towards me. Familiar. Heart’s beating fast. Sweating. I think I know him, I’m just not sure.

“Hey, Yassy.” Jerry greeted me. “Are you okay? Seems like you are looking for someone from a distance?” He asked.

“Ugh. Nah, I.. I just thought I..Never mind..”

“Hi, Miss..” I suddenly heard a familiar voice. And looked behind me. Shocked.

“Yassy, I hope you don’t mind. I also invited him here because I’m actually with him and the rest of the gang.”

I was still surprised and cannot even say a word. It’s the guy from the past. It’s him. Everything stopped for a moment.

FLASHBACK.. December 2004..

“Jerry?! It’s okay. I am on the verge of giving up even if I don’t want to. But, I.. I think it’s time. I mean, I have done my part. I never wanted to give up on him. I learned to love him. I am happy with him. I don’t understand why he can’t even forgive me. It’s not really a big deal. Been saying sorry for the past 3 weeks. He doesn’t even respond to my messages. He doesn’t even answer my calls. I have texted him many times. I give up! Or. No, I never really wanted to. But he’s pushing me away. And I have been suffering from this pain since the day he decided to let go of me. Yes, we are not committed to each other. But I know and I can feel that he has already fallen in love. Or maybe, maybe it’s just me who thinks that way. And I think it’s time, to save some for myself.”

BEACH 2016…

“Yassy? Yassy? Is everything okay?”

“Oh! Yeah. I’m sorry. I was just. I was just surprised. Yeah! Of course! So what’s the plan?”  I was so surprised that I got caught staring at him. After 12 years… After 12 freaking years… I never thought I’d still see this guy. Indeed, a blast from the past!

“Yeah. Okay, where d’you wanna go?” Jerry asked.

“I actually have no idea. Maybe we can just find a spot and hang out there.” I suggested.

“Okay, here. I’ll leave you guys here, and I’ll buy some beer… If.. It’s fine with you guys? Ronnie? Yassy?”

“Ah yeah of course. It’s…It’s okay.” I answered quickly.

“Oh sure. Yes. Of course. I’d love to. I mean, yeah no, no worries.” Ronnie said.

Jerry left us and there was silence for a while.

“So,” both of us said, trying to open up a convo.

“Ah yeah, you first.” He said

“No, no you first,” I said.

“Ah, no go ahead! You first.”

“Ugh. So yeah. What’s ah, what’s up? It’s been for more than a decade since I last saw you. How’s life?”

“Yeah. More than a decade now… Since the day I died twice.” He answered.

Confused. “I’m sorry?”

“Yes. The day you I pushed you away, I died. And the day you went to the US… I died twice.”

I stood up right away. I never really wanted to talk about it. But he took my hand.

“Yassy! Please. Give me a chance. Listen first.”

That moment, I wanted to cry, like as if, it took me back from the past. I felt the same pain I felt 12 years ago.

“Yassy, the day I decided to let go of you..”

FLASHBACK.. Last week of November in 2004..

“Dude! Ano ba kaseng problema mo? Ang babaw kase tsong. Nag sorry naman na si Yassy. Ano pa bang problema dun?” (Dude! What is wrong with you? It’s so petty! Yassy already said sorry. What else do you want?)

“Jerry, hindi mo naiintindihan. Hayaan mo na sya.” (Jerry, you will never understand. Just let her.)

“Dude! She’s already having a hard time. She’s been crying every day. Goes out a lot drinking! She will take her exams this week. You have to understand. The person is taking up law!” 

BEACH.. 2016.. 

“That day, Jerry kept on telling me about how things are getting really difficult for you already. And I didn’t mind.”

TEARS want to fall from my eyes that very moment while he was telling me about what happened.

“I asked him not to butt into the situation. It was my choice. It was my choice to let go of you. Because I was afraid. I was afraid that I might just not be able to handle it again, if… If you suddenly leave me. It was hard for me to do it too. See you were taking up Law that time. Your life was so okay. Your life was fun and never dull. Until I came. My life was dull and boring.. Until you came. You put colors to my life. I was so happy… I was so happy that led me to become so afraid of dying again. I was so afraid that I might commit suicide if I’d get to fall in love more than the way I felt with Jenny. See when she died from the car accident, I almost killed myself for not eating almost every day. But you pulled me up and helped me recover.”

“Ronnie? I don’t think this is the right time to talk about this. I’m sorry” 

For some reason, I wanted to stay and listen to him but my mind is telling me no… No, Yassy. Leave now. I left while tears are falling from my eyes.

“Yassy!!! Yassy wait!!!” 

“Dude!? Wha’ what happened? Why’d she leave? Dude what did you do? Ugh. you idiot! Wait up! Hold these bottles, I’ll chase her…………… ugh no. Go chase her! You! ugh! Go! Now!”

“Yassy! Yassy wait!.. Yassy please… Let’s talk. I know that you have already moved on.. that you are already happy now, having a good life, good job, your own house, your own car, a lucky husband…I just..”

“I.. don’t.. have.. a husband..” I whispered.

“Huh? Wai’what? boyfriend maybe?” he asked. “Yassy, even for just a minute. Just give me a chance.”

“Ok. I will give you 5 minutes to explain even if it won’t make any sense anymore.”

“Thank you! Thank you! I am sorry. It was my bad. I was afraid that time. I was afraid, not knowing that being afraid can cause me more pain. I never thought of trusting you instead.” 

“Okay. Can I leave now?” I didn’t know what else to say, turned my back and just left.

Found a small bar.. looked for a spot and ordered a couple of booze…

BACKGROUND..

Singer: “Remember when we held on in the rain, the nights we almost lost it.. Once again, we can take the night into tomorrow… Living on feelings… Touching you I feel it, all again..” 

FLASHBACK..December 2004..

“Dude! Ano oras ang flight?! Pucha naman bat ngayon mo lang sinabi!!!! Pare naman!!! Alam mo namang ilang araw ko na syang tinawagan at di nga sinasagot ang mga tawag at text ko! Pati helper nila tinatawagan ko hindi ako sinasagot!” (Dude! What time is her flight?! Fuck why didn’t you tell me earlier?! Dude! You are very well aware that I have been calling her and texting her even the helper! But I am receiving no answers at all!)

BEACH.. 2016..

“Is this seat taken?” 

“Oh hi Jerry, no it’s okay. Beer?” I offered.

“He’s been looking for you since you left him there… Ugh no. He has been looking for you since 2004.. A bottle of beer, please! You want anything?” 

“No, I’m good. Thank you.” Took a deep breath… “Jerry? What happened when I left, back in 2004?”

“When I saw you here this noon, everything came back in a snap..I was overwhelmed for my friend. I was surprised. I was shocked. But happy at the same time.”

“Happy?” I asked.

“Yes. Yassy? God has his own reasons why you are here, why he is here, why we are all here today. It has been what? 10? 12 years ago? When you told me that you were leaving for the States and asked me not to tell him, I never did, until the day of your flight. I never wanted to be unfair with you so I didn’t tell him.. RIGHT AWAY… I never wanted to be unfair with my best friend. So I told him, but on the day of your flight. Yassy, when he decided to leave you, he was actually suffering from the pain that Jenny left him, his mom was suffering from cancer.”

“HUH? WHY DIDN’T HE..” I had to butt in! I was surprised!

“No, wait, listen first.. his dad left them, he was so angry that time. He never really wanted to tell you, because you were taking up law that time. He was so down not knowing that you can be someone who can save him from losing himself. He actually thought of you and not himself. He never really wanted to be a burden for you. He was afraid of losing another person when everybody else seems to be like leaving. You were his confidant, yes, but he was afraid that you might just leave him if you’d learn all the issues he was trying to solve that time. He didn’t know what to do. When you told him that you will leave him, he knew then, that you will never do it. But he was afraid that you might. That took him a long time to realize. When you were trying to send him messages, he was always with me. He was so down. He misses you every day, he wanted to send you messages every day, respond to your messages everyday, but..”

“But he DIDN’T!” Crying

“He didn’t because he was just.. he was just not sure if you will still accept him..”

“What the fuck Jerry! Did you guys really think I won’t be able to handle that kind of situation? His life was dull and boring before we started dating! He was so down because Jenny just died. What other tests would you guys like me to try?”

“Yes, and it was too late when he realized it. The day of your flight, I called him. He was still sleeping that time because he used to go out every day, drinking with friends, always getting home late and drunk. It was 1sh in the afternoon, and your flight was 6 in the evening. Yas? He went to the airport. He tried his luck that maybe..just maybe he can still see you and can still say sorry. But you have already checked in. “

SURPRISED. Heart’s beating so fast.

“He tried his best to communicate with you while you were away. But you were not answering his emails. He called your mom. He called your best friend Tina. He called your friends and they all said, just let her be. He didn’t stop stalking you, until he saw a photo with a PhilAm guy at a party that says With the best boyfee in the world

“Wai’, Wha’ Ho’.. Oh my God! With the best boyfee in the world. Yes! The best boyfriend.. boy – friend.. guy friend… You know?! It never meant I was committed! ugh”

“Oh for real?! stupid. hahaha!”

“Why would I joke around?! The problem with your best friend is – he assumes all the time. He assumes that I will leave him, he assumes that I have already forgotten him and that I committed myself with someone in the US right after a few months huh?! For real? tsk”  I explained.

“That time, his mom died of cancer, his dad went back for them. His sister left for Dubai. You see, he felt like everybody’s gonna leave him.” Shaking his head. “I think he’s gay!” He whispered.

“No, but kidding aside, Yas? He never stopped loving you. He has been blaming his attitude since the day you left. He has decided to stop working in 2005 of August. He was always drunk. Getting into trouble all the time, rushing him to the hospital twice a month. His life became miserable. I remember back in 2006. “

FLASHBACK.. February of 2006..

Police car… Siren of the ambulance…

“FUCK PARE! Ano ba kaseng problema mo! Hindi ka ba napapagod makipag away! Sawang sawa na mga tao isalba ka! Nakakaawa na si tito!” (Fuck Dude! What is the matter with you? Aren’t you getting tired of this shit? People are getting tired of saving you from this! I feel bad for you dad!)

Few hours later. Room 203

Knock..knock..

Jerry: “How are you feeling? Feeling better?!” Punch!

Ronnie: “Ouch! Siraulo ka! Wag mo nga akong suntukin ang sakit pa kaya!” (Ouch! Crazy! Don’t punch me you, idiot! It is still painful!.. But you know what dude? What is even more painful than this? It was my life in 2004. When Yassy left. I thought her life is gonna be better off without me. Yes, I guess. Maybe she’s a lawyer now. Her life is awesome, She has an American BOYFEE.. ugh.. that BOYFEE.. I thought I’ll be fine without her… It even made my life miserable.”

“Ronnie, if you really want her, it’s never late! Be better. Be better than yesterday. Look at you! And Yassy is not the only girl in the world.”

“But she’s the perfect WOMAN for me. Because she’s the only one who was there for me when my life was incomplete. And I just broke her heart”

“Be better than yesterday Dude. One day, you’ll find answers. Someday..” 

BEACH.. 2016..

“Jerry? I still don’t know what to say.”

“2006, he applied for a new job. It was then when he realized that things are getting better for him. He learned. He stood up and he helped himself.”

“I am still puzzled, Jerry. Let’s call it a night?”

“Okay. Where do you stay? I’ll walk you to your hotel.”  Jerry offered.

“I stay in Shang, but tonight I’ll just find a lodging here somewhere.”

“There is a GLAMPING TENT at Blue Water resort here in Sumilon, would you like to try that? That is actually where we stay too. Don’t worry it is safe and I won’t let Ronnie bother you”

“Okay. Let’s go there now.”

untitled.png

“Wow! This is cool! Anyhow, Jerry? Thank you. Thank you for today. Thank you for always being there for Ronnie, for me. Thank you for always being there for us. “

“Goodnight Yas.” And he just smiled.

It was already 1:30 in the morning and I still can’t sleep. I went out of the glamping tent and sat down. My glamping tent is next to theirs. They are just a few steps away from me. And yes, what is this all about? Why am I really here? Why are we all here? What is this all about?

Laid down and fell asleep. Yes. Outside the glamping tent. >.<

untitled (1).jpg
(c) rchrd.sl

 

“Oh Shit! The sun is shining! Ugh! I actually fell asleep outside the tent! Gosh.”

Stretch.. stretch…

 

 

“Oh! Why! What!? What is this?”

 

Found a blue towel on top of me. Smiled. And yeah. He is still the sweetest.

“Morning Yassy!” 

Looked at me and smiled. “Morning Jerry”.

“Breakfast? Come with us. Ronnie, prepared something for the gang.” He invited me to join them for breakfast.

And yeah. I joined them.

At the table…

“Morning Yas” Ronnie greeted me. 

I smiled and said, “Morning”

“Miss, coffee?” Ronnie offered.

“Wala naman lason to? Thank you.” (No poison? Thank You.)Giggled.

And everything started there… AGAIN. That time, I thought of giving him another chance. Maybe, just maybe… There is a reason… Why we got the chance to talk again.

Right after breakfast, I took a break under the tree next to my glamping. Where the shade is so inviting…

He sat next to me. And smiled. I smiled back.

“So what’s keeping you busy?” I initiated a topic.

“Well, I ah, I now manage my own business. As you know, it has been my dream to put up my own coffee shop. Have it at the metro. If you have a lot of time, you can visit anytime”.

“Okay, so are you inviting me to have coffee or to just visit your shop?” Giggled.

“Haha both?”  He answered.

“Let’s see. I’ll let you know when I get back to Manila.”

“And how’d I know? I do not have your number..”  He said.

“Well, I can give it to you.. But I’ll think of it first”  Giggled again.

“Yassy? I just want to say sorry about..”

“Ronnie? It’s okay. Forget about it”

He smiled. And I smiled back.

“Guys, I have to get back to my hotel now. It’s nice seeing you all.”

“Yassy, when are you going back to Manila?” Jerry asked.

“I’ll be going back to Manila tomorrow. I have a client meeting on Monday”  I answered.

“Oh Great! Alright! What time is your flight back to Manila?”  Jerry asked.

“4ish?”

“I see. What’s your number? So we can meet you there or visit you maybe?” Ronnie asked.

Gave my number to Ronnie and headed back to Shang.

Ring.. Ring..

“Hello..” 

“Hi, Atty. Good morning! Your client meeting at 10 in the morning is canceled today.”

My secretary called me.

“Oh! Why?”

“Mrs. Reyes said, she can’t come today. She needs to accompany her daughter at the hospital. She asked me if we can reschedule the meeting on Thursday?”

“Ahuh. I see. Alright then, kindly check my schedule on Thursday and just talk to her about it. Is there any other schedule for today?”

“Well, you actually asked me not to schedule anything today, since you just got back from Cebu last night, except for the one with Mrs. Reyes which is canceled.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you”

When I was about to get back to sleep..Ring! Ring!

“Hel-lo..”

“Yassy?” It’s a guy. Voice is familiar.

“Ugh. Hello. Yeah? Who’s this?”

“Jerry here! Seems like you didn’t save my number?! haha You free today?”

“Oh Hi!.. Well fortunately yes. The meeting is canceled. What’s up?”

“Great! Let’s hang out! Let’s visit Ronnie’s coffee shop today”

I was a bit shaky, stood up and answered “Ugh. Okay. Where is it again?”

“No, you don’t have to drive yourself there. Will pick you up at 2ish?” 

“I see, okay. See you guys later!”

I was a bit excited! What to wear? Okay. Calm down Yassy.. Everything’s gonna be fine. Breathe in, breathe out.

Tic toc tic toc.. I got myself prepped up at 1ish.

1 message received!

“Hi Yas. OTW”

Ding Dong!

“Hi!”

“Oh. Hi!”  Surprised. It’s Jerry. Only Jerry.

“Shall we?” 

On our way to the shop, he was a bit quiet. It’s not the same.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Oh yes. Of course.”  He answered. “Yas?” Follow up question. “How long have you been single?”

“Hahaha and what is up with that question? Oh well, I’ve never had gotten into a relationship since 2004”

“FOR REAL??? He really broke your heart.”

“Not really. It helped me in many ways anyway. I achieved a lot of things and time is just right I think.”

“I see. And are you ready to fall in love again?”

“Maybe?”

“Alright! Here we are. After you Madame”

Inhale, exhale…

“Hi!” He opened the door for us. Cheek to cheek. Blush.

“Here, this table is really reserved for a special guest like you. What would you like to have? Everything is for free.” Ronnie said.

“Wow! I have been here a thousand times! But this is the first time, you reserved this table and everything is for free! Okay, I want to have coffee of the day please.” Jerry said, cracking a joke.

“Well, I would like to try whichever is the best here”

“Coming up madame,” He said.

He personally prepared the drinks and snacks for us. While waiting, Jerry and I talked about some stuff.

Looked around, a simple girl at the cashier smiled. So I smiled back.

Ronnie, approaching our table, followed by the girl who is smiling at me.

“Yassy, I’d like to you try our coffee of the day and these sandwiches.. especially made by my wife, Rica.”

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY..

Stuttering.. “Ah, oh yes. of course, thank you! Hi, Rica? yes. Hi, I am..”

“Atty. Rondilla. The famous Atty. Yassy. Finally. It’s nice to meet you. My husband told me a lot of things about you.”

I do not know what to say. I wanted to cry, I wanted to just leave. But, she’s… She’s a nice woman. I caught Jerry looking at me, and he decided to break the ice…

“Okay! So Atty. Rondilla, they actually have here a spot which is called the SAY IT HERE tree.” Handed me some small colored papers and a colored pen.

What to write?

“Please excuse us. We just need to attend to other customers.” Rica suddenly said. Smiled and left.

“Write it there,” Jerry said. Then smiled. “I know the feeling. I know how it feels.I know what it feels like. I know how difficult it is for you to deal with the wife of the guy that you used to love. I know. I felt that”

Staring at the window. Trying to understand what he’s saying.

“I know the feeling. I have been there. Done that. The same feeling……………….. when Ronnie told me that you guys………………….. were……………….. exclusively dating…………….. a decade ago.”

SURPRISED…. to be continued…

 

Featured Image (c) rchrd.sl (instagram)

 

Love Stories

What if?

©2016 TheAnonymousWritersNotebook

What if? (Babyface 2001)

Goes.. “Now that could be my car. That could be my house. That could be my baby boy that you’re nursin. That could be the trash that I always take out. That could be the chair that I love to chill in. That could be my food on the table at the end of the day. Hugs and the kisses, all the love we make. What the hell do you expect me to say? What if it’s really `sposed to be this way? What if you’re really `sposed to be with me?”

What if? T’was exactly 11 years ago when Missy met James. They were never introduced by anybody. James used to be the typical guy from the university who’d always greet people in his weirdest ways. He’d look at you from head to toe with a grin on his face. You won’t actually know if he’s serious about it or he’s just being playful. Not knowing each other, he greeted her with his valiant hello. She looked back and said hi! From then on, a good friendship started. He asked for her number and they started texting. They talked consistently and had been seeing each other in school every day. One day, Missy asked, “why are you being so sweet?” He answered courageously, “Because I like you!” Days and months have gone by. They became really close. Missy then found out that James just broke up with his longtime girlfriend a few months ago. She then figured “Oooh, it could be an undefined period after a break-up. Rebound baby.” However, James proved her wrong.. He continued sending her messages and called her randomly. Sent her food in the classroom and visited her on her dance practice every noon. She started falling for him. It was not just James who showed care for Missy back then. There were some others.

One noon, James sent her a message and asked her to go see him before he heads back home  since Missy wasn’t done with her classes yet. She went out of the room and surprisingly, James was there waiting for her. He held her hands and told her “I’ll miss you”. Then he headed home. That same day, Missy became a little off. James sent her messages but she replied with unusual responses. “Is there something wrong?” He asked.“I don’t think you’re ready for this. Before I fall deeply in love with you, let’s just be friends. I know you ain’t over her yet.” He didn’t understand why she just gave up without even having it started. He had no idea why she said that without giving him answers.

He left the university. Missy had a kid of her own. James got married after 4 years with the woman he used to make friends with. They had a family and flew to Sydney. After a decade, they saw each other again. Well, where else?! Facebook. James hit her with a“Hey, what’s up?” And she replied “I’m good. And you?” And what else are we expecting for? Good convo. Catching up and hell yeah, most likely trying to find answers from the past. He asked for Missy’s number and called her right away. Video call. Yes. They were so passionate about learning things about each other since there was an 11-year gap between not talking and not seeing each other. In the middle of the convo, he boldly asked. “What happened to us?” She didn’t know he’d ask that after a decade. And not having a doubt she answered, “The day you bid goodbye before heading home, I saw you wearing the necklace of your ex-girlfriend with her name on it. I didn’t bother to ask. I knew that time, that you were not over yet.” He staggered. “Seriously? I thought you just didn’t like me and thought I got busted!” They both then realized that maybe? Just maybe, they were given the chance to talk again to clear things up. And then they asked, what if? Yeah. What if. James ‘kid asked him, “Who is she dad?” He answered in the language that the kid doesn’t really know. “She’s supposed to be your mom” and Missy was like 😧😳😶😍 .. speechless in a way that she didn’t really know how to react to it. All that she knows is that James is happily married, that she’s a single mother and they would always have that space in their hearts.
We live by faith. And fate brings everything according to God’s plan. We may not find answers now, but we’d definitely find answers in the future. In time dear… In time…

Featured Image (c) rchrd.sl (instagram)